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Jokes
- bar jokes
Betting at the bar
"Hey bartender, I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my eye." Bartender looks at the guy and lays fifty dollars on the bar. The drunk pops out his artificial eye and bites it, then takes the fifty dollars. The bartender realizes he should have seen that coming.
"Hey bartender, I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my other eye."
Bartender saw the guy park his car and walk in the bar and thinks to himself that there's no way the guy has two artificial eyes, and accepts the bet.
The drunk takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye and grabs the fifty dollars while chuckling under his breath. The bartender again realizes he should have seen that coming.
The drunk then gets up from the bar and seems to be quite secretive about talking to the other people sitting around at the tables. Once again, the drunk steps up to the bar and says, "Hey, bartender? Do you want a chance to win your $100 back?" Hesitantly, the bartender asks what he has in mind.
"Well, it's like this. I bet you I can get up on one end of the bar and place a shot glass at the other end. I can pee from the end I'm standing on and get it in the shot glass at the other end without spilling one drop."
The bartender looks at the length of the bar and decides that no one could pee that far and accepts the bet. The drunk hops up on the bar and begins to pee. He pees all over the bar not even coming close to the shot glass. The bartender begins to laugh and happily scoops up the $100 quite proud that he has won the bet.
The drunk hops off the bar and smiles at the other people which makes the bartender suspicious so he asks the drunk, "Hey! You come in here and bite your eye and win fifty dollars, then you bite your other eye and win another fifty dollars. Now you knew before you bet me that you couldn't pee the length of this bar. Why are you so happy about losing????"
The drunk says, "Before I bet you about the shot glass, I went around the bar and bet everyone in here $100 that I could get up on your bar and pee all over it..... and you'd be happy about it!"
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